Making Comfy Couches Uncomfortable

You all remember my uncle right? Today I found him sleeping on the sofa like this…

Even though he seemed to be sleeping pretty well, I decided it would be best to wake him up and find out what the heck he was doing sleeping so weird! That’s when he taught me something very important…

At first I couldn’t understand why he would want to sleep in such an uncomfortable position on such a comfy couch! Why not just sleep on the floor if you’re going to give yourself back pain for the rest of the week… Guess what uncle told me? He said that because we are fortunate to be the most beautiful species of creatures in the world, the slaves have trouble staying away from us when we are cute. In fact, often the slaves will feel the need to wake us up when we are on the sofa in order to scratch our heads. Most of the time this is acceptable, however, when you really need a nap and do not want slave interference, you need to sleep in the most uncomfortable position possible. When you do this, the slaves will normally gather around to watch, but will be very quiet so as not to disturb us! Apparently they enjoy watching our discomfort and will therefore allow us to continue sleeping. Perhaps this almost makes them feel like equals or something…

I started practicing uncomfortable positions when uncle gave me one last lesson. He said not to get into too awkward of  a position or the slaves will get out their cameras to take pictures and the flash could really ruin a good nap! The trick is to find the right balance of discomfort to keep the slave away without provoking them to get the camera!